Teen Wolf recap – Season 1, Episode 5: The Tell

For more Teen Wolf recaps, click here.

A video store employee stands on a ladder, stupidly trying to change a malfunctioning fluorescent light while all the lights are still on. You’re gonna get electrocuted, son.

Jackson goes inside to rent The Notebook at Lydia’s demand and finds the employee’s body on the ground. Considering that guy’s blatant disrespect for electricity, it’s not a huge surprise that he’s dead. What is a surprise is that his throat is ripped out. Jackson backs away from the body and stumbles into the ladder and the malfunctioning fluorescent light. The store lights start flickering.

Outside, Lydia is too busy to notice because she’s taking bad selfies. Those are barely MySpace quality, Lydia. Up your game.

Jackson sees red eyes (ALPHA SIGHTING) in the flickering lights and ducks for cover in one of the aisles.

Introducing the Hide and Seek champion of the world, Jackson Whittemore

Introducing the Hide and Seek champion of the world, Jackson Whittemore

The Alpha knocks down all the DVD racks and crushes Jackson. Unable to move, he has to lie on his stomach as the Alpha takes a look at his persistent neck wound and then jumps out a window.

Lydia looks up from her phone in time to scream.

Next season on The Voice.

Next season on The Voice.

TITLE SHOT

Stiles and his Sheriff dad respond to a radio call about a murder (Stiles gets told to stay in the car). He sees Lydia and Jackson sitting in the back of an ambulance. Jackson is in lil’ bitch mode because he wants to go home and not be checked for a concussion. He calls Sheriff a ‘minimum wage rent-a-cop’ and I would not object if Sheriff pistol-whipped Jackson right now.

As the body of the employee is wheeled away, we pan up to see Derek and Scott hanging out ominously on the roof of the video store and surveying the Pride Lands in an Intro to Lycanthropy class.

DEREK: Starting to get it?

SCOTT: I get that he’s killing people. I don’t get why. This isn’t standard practice, right? We don’t go out in the middle of the night murdering everyone, do we?

DEREK: No. We’re predators; we don’t have to be killers.

SCOTT: Then why is he a killer?

DEREK: That’s what we’re going to find out.

Scott and Derek go back to Derek’s house so that Scott can complain about having to go to a parent teacher conference because he’s failing Chemistry.

DEREK: Do you want to do homework? Or do you want to not die?

Scott seems torn. He also seems to think the Alpha would just let him tap out of killer werewolf tag because he wants to graduate high school. Cute. Derek wants to teach Scott about wolf stuff so they can find the Alpha together.

DEREK: Do you remember what happened that first night you were shot in the arm? Right after you were hit?

SCOTT: Yeah, I changed back.

DEREK: And when you were hit by his car – same thing, right? What’s the common denominator?

Instead of just saying ‘pain keeps you human’, Derek breaks Scott’s arm. Werewolf healing is immediate but Scott is unappreciative.

The next morning, Kate apologises to Allison for being a ‘hard bitch’ and assuming that Scott stole something at dinner. She gives Allison her birthday present to make up for it. It’s a pendant – a WEREWOLF HUNTER family heirloom. If Allison wants to know more about her family, she should look up the wolf symbol.

I'm not like a regular aunt. I'm a cool aunt.

I’m not like a regular aunt. I’m a cool aunt.

At school, Allison opens her locker and is attacked by a horde of balloons. She tells Scott that it’s her birthday but she doesn’t want anyone to know because she’s 17 (a year older than everyone). Scott assumes it’s because she had to repeat a year because her family kept moving around. Allison kisses him.

SCOTT: What was that for?

ALLISON: For literally being the first person to ever make the correct assumption. Everybody’s always like, ‘What? Did you get held back? Did you ride the short bus? Did you have a baby?’

They decide to cut school for the day because Allison can’t just laugh at how stupid people are.

In Chemistry, Mr Harris reminds everyone about parent teacher interviews and that anyone below a C-average has to attend. Jackson arrives late and Mr Harris gives him some attention for seeing a dead body and being a lil’ bitch last night.

Stiles leans over to Danny.

STILES: Danny, can I ask you a question?

DANNY: No.

STILES: Well, I’m going to anyway. Did Lydia show up in your homeroom today?

DANNY: No.

STILES: Can I ask you another question?

DANNY: Answer’s still no.

STILES: Does anyone know what happened to her and Jackson last night?

DANNY: He wouldn’t tell me.

STILES: But he’s your best friend. One more question.

DANNY: What?

STILES: Do you find me attractive?

Oh, Danny Boy, I love you so!

Oh, Danny Boy, I love you so!

In the locker rooms, Jackson is SHIRTLESS and inspecting his neck scratches. Derek arrives ominously to ask Jackson what he saw last night. Jackson should maybe take another shower because he may have wet himself from fright. Derek acts like a human lie detector, tells Jackson to get his neck scratches looked at, and vanishes in a cloud of mist walks away.

Stiles is freaking out about the wolf events and calls Scott. Scott can’t answer because he’s too busy cutting school and walking through a forest with Allison. They act cute and make out.

Apparently everyone’s cutting school today (or else it took Scott and Allison an entire day to drive to what seems to be the Beacon Hills Preserve. If so, someone needs to explain Beacon Hills geography to me) because Stiles goes to Lydia’s house to check up on her. Lydia is drugged off her face and wearing a negligee but her mum seems to have no issue with leaving Lydia alone with a boy she doesn’t seem to know.

LYDIA: I saw …

STILES: What? Lydia, what did you see?

LYDIA: Something.

STILES: Something like – like a mountain lion?

LYDIA: A mountain lion.

STILES: Are you sure you saw a mountain lion or are you just saying that because that’s what the police told you?

LYDIA: A mountain lion.

STILES: What’s this?

Stiles shows her a stuffed giraffe.

LYDIA: A mountain lion.

What's in this picture? A mountain lion.

What’s in this picture? A mountain lion.

Lydia passes out with her face in his lap and Stiles maybe just died.

Allison texts Lydia to say thank you for the birthday balloons.

Stiles is about to leave Lydia’s when she asks him to stay, thinking he’s Jackson. Then Lydia passes out again. Allison’s text comes through but Stiles doesn’t know how to use the phone so he stumbles across a video Lydia must have accidentally taken of the Alpha jumping out of the video store window.

Kate and two other WEREWOLF HUNTERS take a day trip to Derek’s house. They all wear leather to prove that they’re hard core.

The guy on the left is my favourite WEREWOLF HUNTER. I don't know his name but he's the human incarnate of Sonic the Hedgehog.

The guy on the left is my favourite WEREWOLF HUNTER. I don’t know his name but he’s the human incarnate of Sonic the Hedgehog.

Inside, DEREK is doing some SHIRTLESS pull-ups or chin-ups or—I don’t care. Something where his muscles are all flexy and we can clearly see the funky swirl tattoo on his back.

I would probably pay money if Tyler Hoechlin could just exercise in front of me for an hour.

I would probably pay money if Tyler Hoechlin could just exercise in front of me for an hour.

He drops down to do some push-ups and looks like he’s inhaling a lot of dirt from the floor. Seriously, man. I know you don’t care about not having a roof on your house but could you please at least buy a broom or grab a tree branch and sweep away the dirt if you’re going to exercise with your face so close to the ground? This is about hygiene, Derek. I tell you this because it’s important.

Derek disappears when the WEREWOLF HUNTERS bust in and Kate makes some uncouth jokes about Derek’s dead sister. Derek kicks some butt and does some growling. Kate pulls out a Taser/cattle prod/lightsaber and shocks him with it.

At home, Stiles is leaving more messages for Scott, begging him to call back.

Scott is busy walking over some rocks in a creek and giggling with Allison when they slip a little bit. Then they walk over a bridge and Allison gets a piggyback.

Scott, you get exactly one photo in this recap because you do NOTHING except have High School Musical moments in the woods.

Scott, you get exactly one photo in this recap because you do NOTHING except have High School Musical moments in the woods.

Stiles deletes the Alpha video from a phone – Lydia’s phone? Did he ‘borrow’ it? Who knows?

Derek tries to stand up but Kate prods him with her electric baton again so she can monologue.

KATE: You never were good with electricity, were you? Or fire. Which is why I’m going to let you in on a little secret and, well, maybe we can help each other out: yes, your sister was severed into pieces and used as bait to try to catch you. Unpleasant. And frankly a little too Texas Chainsaw Massacre for my taste – but quite true. Now, here’s the part that might really kick you in the balls: we didn’t kill her. You think I’m lying?

DEREK: Wouldn’t be the first time.

KATE: Sweetie. Well, why don’t you just listen to my heart and tell me if I am? Okay? We didn’t kill your sister. You hear that? There’s no blips or upticks; just the steady beat of the cold hard truth. We found bite marks on your sister’s body, Derek. What do you think did that? A mountain lion?

Tell me what you really think, Derek. Am I a cool aunt?

Tell me what you really think, Derek. Am I a cool aunt?

She suggests that Derek tell them who the Alpha is and the WEREWOLF HUNTERS will kill him. But Derek’s face makes it clear that he doesn’t know who the Alpha is, and that means play time is over. Kate takes out her gun and shoots up the house. Derek recovers enough to run away.

At the animal clinic, Vet Man is calling Scott to check why he isn’t at work. Sheriff shows up to ask about the supposed mountain lion attacker. He shows security camera pictures from the video store. The ‘mountain lion’ is clearly shifting from Alpha werewolf to Alpha human but Vet Man plays dumb and bails.

If I talk enough about Dobermans, he'll probably forget why he came here.

If I talk enough about Dobermans, he’ll probably forget why he came here.

It’s dark, so the day of traipsing through the woods is over. Allison thinks this is her best birthday ever and hints that she would like to get some sex on. Scott suddenly remembers that he’s supposed to be at the parent teacher conferences.

At the parent teacher conferences, Jackson’s parents are delivering some exposition about their son. Turns out he’s adopted.

Lydia’s parents are divorced and they assume that she’ll be warped because of it. Sassy teacher puts them in their place:

SASSY TEACHER: I wasn’t aware that there was a problem. Academically, Lydia’s one of the finest students I’ve ever had. Her AP classes push her GPA above a 5.0; I’d actually like to have her IQ tested. And socially, she displays outstanding leadership qualities. I mean, she’s a real leader.

Coach is talking to Sheriff and getting confused about Stiles’s first name, which is apparently not Stiles.

COACH: So Stiles. Great kid. Zero ability to focus. Super smart, never takes advantage of his talents.

SHERIFF: What do you mean?

COACH: Well, for his final question on his midterm exam, he detailed the entire history of the male circumcision.

SHERIFF: Well, I mean, it does have historical significance, right?

COACH: I teach economics.

SHERIFF: Aw, crap.

Mama McCall leaves Scott an angry voicemail before her meeting with Mr Harris.

MR HARRIS: Lately, Scott’s mind has been somewhere else. As has his body. Personally, I think it may have something to do with his home situation.

MAMA McCALL: Oh. Well, personally, I’m not sure what you mean by ‘home situation’.

MR HARRIS: Specifically the lack of an authority figure.

MAMA McCALL: Yeah, well, I’m the authority figure so …

MR HARRIS: Sorry. Allow me to clarify: I mean the lack of a male authority figure.

Looks like we got another lil' bitch to pistol-whip.

Looks like we got another lil’ bitch to pistol-whip.

The Argents talk to Sassy Teacher, who tells them Allison may rebel as a result of her moving around so much.

MAMA ARGENT: We appreciate the concern but we have a great relationship with our daughter; very open and honest.

SASSY TEACHER: I’m happy to hear that. And let her know that I hope she’s feeling better.

CHRIS: She wasn’t in class?

SASSY TEACHER: Oh she wasn’t at school. I checked with the office.

DOUBLE BOOM.

Allison and Scott finally arrive at school. Both Mama McCall and Chris leave angry voicemails for the kids and then nearly get into a verbal smackdown with each other, which I’m pretty sure Mama McCall would win. They see Allison and Scott and run towards them, ready to dole out punishments.

Scott, do you even KNOW the kind of misogynistic bullshit I just had to put up with? Grounded for seven years.

Scott, do you even KNOW the kind of misogynistic bullshit I just had to put up with? Grounded for seven years.

There’s a scream from the car park and a loud animal growl. Suddenly everyone’s running around instead of going back into the school like sensible humans. Allison nearly gets hit by a car but is saved by Scott. Sheriff actually is hit by a car. Chris pulls a gun out of his car and shoots whatever was growling and everyone does a slow-mo walk towards the animal.

It’s a mountain lion.

Everyone exchanges some meaningful looks and the strings section in this orchestration goes on for way longer than it needs to.

Super convenient actual mountain lion

Super convenient actual mountain lion

END OF EPISODE

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