Teen Wolf recap – Season 1, Episode 9: Wolf’s Bane

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Night. At Beacon Hills High School, Mr Harris is looking at a list of other people named Harris, all of whom have a red cross next to their name … except for him. Bit weird.

Are all you Harrises dead? What's with all the crosses?

Are all you Harrises dead? What’s with all the crosses?

The ALPHA appears. We only see its wet claw and hear its voice. Mr Harris doesn’t turn around partly because he’s scared and partly because that would mean dipping into the limited CGI budget.

Excuse me, Mr Alpha, why is your hand wet? You been swimming, mate?

Excuse me, Mr Alpha, why is your hand wet? You been swimming, mate?

MR HARRIS: Please don’t kill me.

ALPHA: Do you know who wrote that list?

MR HARRIS: Laura. Laura Hale.

ALPHA: Do you know why she was looking for you? I know why. Turn around, Adrian. Turn around and I’ll show you. Turn around.

MR HARRIS: No. Please.

ALPHA: Look at me. Look at what you’ve done.

The Alpha starts throwing chairs at Mr Harris and all of a sudden DEREK ominously appears and tells Mr Harris to do the sensible thing and duck so he’s not hit in the head—and this is the guy that keeps telling his students how stupid they are.

Let's play Duck, Duck, Idiot.

Let’s play Duck, Duck, Idiot.

We hear sirens. Derek’s still a supposed murderer so the police are not his friends right now. He runs.

The next sequence has Derek outrunning cars on foot so he should maybe try out for the Olympics. The police are chasing Derek. Chris Argent is chasing Derek. Kate Argent is chasing Derek’s car, which is being driven by Scott and Stiles as a diversion.

TITLE SHOT

Scott is probably too much of a careful driver and high-speed car chases are not his thing. Chris fires some shots at Derek. Scott somehow manages to get to him before everyone else, Derek jumps in the car and they’re off.

Thanks for picking me up, guys, but I'm a future Olympian so I probably could've handled it.

Thanks for picking me up, guys, but I’m a future Olympian so I probably could’ve handled it.

Derek is unimpressed; he was close to catching the Alpha when the police showed up and it’s all Scott’s fault for making him the most wanted fugitive in the entire state.

DEREK: The last time I talked to my sister, she was close to figuring something out. She found two things. The first was a guy named Harris.

STILES: Our Chemistry teacher?

SCOTT: Why him?

DEREK: I don’t know yet.

SCOTT: What was the second?

DEREK: Some kind of symbol.

He pulls out a drawing of the symbol on Allison’s necklace.

Casual excellent drawing.

Casual excellent drawing.

The next day at school, Scott seems to think it will be impossible to get the necklace. Stiles is more optimistic.

STILES: You just say, ‘Hey, Allison. Can I borrow your necklace to see if there’s anything on it or in it that can lead me to an Alpha werewolf that I need to kill in order to get back together with you?’

Plan: get the necklace, get the Alpha, get cured, get Allison back.

Seems ambitious for one episode, especially considering how slowly Scott works when people’s lives are in danger, so that’s probably for the rest of the season.

Jackson is SHIRTLESS and finally getting his neck wounds looked at by a doctor. He talks about having nightmares and the doctor pulls out some creepy looking plier things and holy Jesus please tell me this is all in his imagination because if those are actual tools I’m never going to a doctor again. The doctor starts pulling something out of Jackson’s neck wound – it’s like a whole fucking vine of wolfsbane and it’s covered in blood and it’s disgusting.

ENOUGH. ENOUGH.

ENOUGH. ENOUGH.

Okay, it’s just a dream. That’s fine. Disgusting but fine.

The doctor says the scabs are nothing to worry about but he wants to give Jackson an antibiotic because he has aconite poisoning.

JACKSON: What the hell is aconite?

DOCTOR: Well, it’s a purple flower also called monkshood or—

JACKSON: Wolfsbane.

DOCTOR: Yes. So you are familiar with it?

JACKSON: No. I have no idea how I knew that.

Jackson puts his shirt back on and tries to use the power of his cheekbones to convince Mama McCall to let him use the computer at the nurses’ station. She incorrectly identifies him as one of Scott’s friends and lets him quickly search for wolfsbane on the internet.

Why, yes. I am most definitely Scott's friend. I have never threatened him with my cheekbones before.

Why, yes. I am most definitely Scott’s friend. I have never threatened him with my cheekbones before.

Back at school, Jackson tells Scott that he knows his secret and he wants to be a werewolf as well. If Scott won’t help him, Jackson will tell Allison about Scott’s secret.

This ramps up the need to get the necklace and get cured. Scott tries to sit next to Allison but Lydia, obviously over her brief romantic interlude with Scott, gets protective and won’t let him near her. Scott sends Allison some photos of the two of them to warm her up.

Aw, yes. Gonna make Allison give me her necklace with my clever plan.

Aw, yes. Gonna make Allison give me her necklace with my clever plan.

Allison is just hurt by the photos and Scott has made this worse.

In the cafeteria, the plan switches to STEAL THE NECKLACE because Scott is an idiot. Jackson is suddenly testing Scott’s werewolf hearing by accusing Scott of cheating at lacrosse and talking about how he’s going to have sex with Allison.

Jackson, I feel like we should talk about consent and not using people as part of your schemes without their permission.

Jackson, I feel like we should talk about consent and not using people as part of your schemes without their permission.

Scott breaks his lunch tray. Jackson takes an obnoxiously loud bite of his apple.

In the pool, Allison and a SHIRTLESS Jackson have a half-hearted breast-stroke race and Jackson admits that his cheekbones are aerodynamically suited for speed in water.

Watch the cheekbones glisten.

Watch the cheekbones glisten.

Jackson asks Allison if she’s coming to the lacrosse game tonight and both compliments and insults Scott in the same breath.

Scott tries to snoop through Allison’s bag for the necklace but comes up empty handed.

Jackson swaggers through the school hallway, elated at finally figuring out about werewolves and getting closer to Allison. Lydia charges up and questions the text he just sent her.

LYDIA: ‘Lydia, please give back my spare house key at your earliest convenience as we are no longer dating.’

JACKSON: You didn’t lose it, did you?

LYDIA: What the hell is this?

JACKSON: Well, Lydia, in preparation for some big changes, I’ve decided to drop some of the dead weight in my life and you’re just about the deadest.

LYDIA: Are you breaking up with me?

JACKSON: Dumping, actually. I’m dumping you.

Jackson, I am sick of your shit in this episode. Just stop.

Jackson, I am sick of your shit in this episode. Just stop.

Stiles gets home to find Derek ominously hiding in his room. Sheriff nearly walks in but instead Stiles distracts him with some adorable father/son talk about Stiles finally being made first line.

Stiles recruits the adorable Danny to trace the ominous text sent to Allison a few episodes ago, since it clearly wasn’t sent by Scott. Danny refuses so Stiles alters his plan and gets DEREK (who is posing as Sitles’s cousin Miguel) to walk around SHIRTLESS and seduce Danny. Derek is not impressed but who cares because he gets SHIRTLESS twice.

STILES: You swing for a different team but you still play ball, don’t you, Danny-boy?

DANNY: You’re a horrible person.

STILES: I know. It keeps me awake at night. Anyway, about that text—

Derek is SHIRTLESS again and third time’s the charm.

DANNY: I’ll need the ISP, the phone number, and the exact time of text.

Derek, please never find a shirt that fits.

Derek, please never find a shirt that fits.

Scott sneaks into Allison’s bedroom to look for the necklace. He finds it being used as a bookmark in that creepy old WERWOLF HUNTER history book, which I hope Allison actually owns because she has CIRCLED some things in it and if she doesn’t own it then that’s just rude.

Actual WEREWOLF HUNTER necklace.

Actual WEREWOLF HUNTER necklace.

One of the circled things is Loup garou, which Scott’s phone helpfully translates to werewolf.

Back at Stiles’s place, Derek is unfortunately clothed again and Danny has figured out that the text was sent from a computer at the Beacon Hills Hospital—a computer registered to Melissa McCall.

Scott is about to leave Casa Argent when Chris comes home and invites him in for a beer and some interrogation.

Allison is out for a run when she stumbles on Derek’s creepy roofless house and goes in to investigate. Kate shows up and they have a conversation about Derek’s motivations and what it would take to turn a person into a psychotic killer. I feel like we’re not talking about Derek any more.

Kate, stop fondling the burnt wood.

Kate, stop fondling the burnt wood.

KATE: What do you want, Allison?

ALLISON: I want to not be scared. That night in the school, I felt utterly weak. Like I needed somebody to come in and rescue me. I hate that feeling. I want to feel stronger than that. I want to feel powerful.

KATE: Allison, if you can  give me just a little bit of time, be just a little patient, I think I can give you exactly what you want.

Kate walks out, seemingly leaving Allison to run home on her own. Rude.

Chris is questioning Scott about his relationship with Derek. Allison comes home in time to hear that Scott just wants her to be safe. Scott leaves without seeing Allison.

Could it be? Does Scott love me 5eva?

Could it be? Does Scott love me 5eva?

Stiles and Derek are on the phone to Scott and complaining that the necklace has no hidden clues. Stiles doesn’t tell Scott about the text sent from Mama McCall’s computer or that he’s likely going to miss the first lacrosse game he’s actually allowed to play.

Jackson rocks up at lacrosse and wants Scott to bite him. Scott tell him it isn’t that easy and gives him a rundown on werewolf politics, the Alpha, and the WEREWOLF HUNTERS. Jackson realises that ‘Argent’ means ‘silver’ in French. So I guess there’s that myth about silver being lethal to werewolves solved, since in this show actual silver isn’t lethal to them.

Scott, bite me. Bite me now.

Scott, bite me. Bite me now.

Stiles is in the hospital, apparently looking for Mama McCall (although wouldn’t she be at the lacrosse game?). He also sees that Peter Hale is not there because SUPPOSEDLY HALF-COMATOSE PETER HALE IS THE ALPHA.

REPEAT: PETER HALE IS THE ALPHA.

Stiles can't believe Peter is the Alpha. I can't believe Stiles knows what Peter looks like when he's never seen him before.

Stiles can’t believe Peter is the Alpha. I can’t believe Stiles knows Peter on sight when he’s never seen him before and thought he was wheelchair-bound.

Also, the nurse that was looking after Peter is the one that sent the text and she’s evil and we don’t like her and Stiles is going to die.

NO, HE’S NOT. Derek shows up and elbows Bitch Nurse in the face, knocking her out.

PETER: That’s not nice. She’s my nurse.

DEREK: She’s a psychotic bitch helping you kill people.

Stiles ducks out of the way so that we can have a FIGHT SCENE. Peter tosses Derek around like he’s a toy and then drags him around by the throat.

PETER: My mind, my personality were literally burned out of me. I was being driven by pure instinct.

DEREK: You want forgiveness?

PETER: I want understanding. Do you have any idea what it was like for me during those years? Slowly healing, cell by cell, even more slowly coming back to consciousness? Yes, becoming an Alpha—taking that from Laura—pushed me over a plateau in the healing process. I can’t help that. I tried to tell you what was happening. I tried to warn you.

I’m still slightly confused about how exactly Peter killed Laura if she was an Alpha and he was wheelchair-bound but okay.

Sheriff is talking to Mr Harris, impatiently waiting to get to Stiles’s first lacrosse game because he’s DAD OF THE YEAR. Once upon a time, Mr Harris got drunk and talked to a girl who was actually interested in the topic of chemistry.

MR HARRIS: I talked because it’s fascinating stuff—how you could melt away the lock of a bank vault. How you could dissolve a body and get away with murder.

SHERIFF: How you could start a fire and get away with arson?

MR HARRIS: Then, a week later, the Hale house burns down.

Apparently the reason Mr Harris never said something was because he didn’t want to be an accomplice. And also because he doesn’t actually know the girl’s name or where she was from;  all he could tell Laura Hale, and all he can tell Sheriff, is to look for the WEREWOLF HUNTER necklace.

MR HARRIS: I asked her about it. She said it was a family thing. You find the girl wearing that necklace, she’s your arsonist.

SHERIFF: Murderer.

MR HARRIS: Excuse me?

SHERIFF: Arson happens to property. This girl’s a murderer.

Harris, why can't you ever just turn around and face people when they're talking to you?

Harris, why can’t you ever just turn around and face people when they’re talking to you?

Derek, weak and bloody, crawls around the hospital. Peter follows him so he can keep saying things and heal the burns on his face with some kind of Alpha power.

Derek, it's very important that you pay attention. I'm about to do an Alpha makeover.

Derek, it’s very important that you pay attention. I’m about to do an Alpha makeover.

At the lacrosse game, Jackson gives Scott 72 hours to find the Alpha and convince him to bite Jackson. That could be difficult because, quite frankly, if I were the Alpha, I would probably prefer to kill Jackson and display his cheekbones as a trophy.

Sheriff shows up to the lacrosse game and looks confused and upset because he can’t see Stiles and please don’t cry, baby.

Allison points out Jackson to Kate, who makes some inappropriate comments about Jackson’s hotness. Then Kate sees his neck wounds and asks Chris if you could get turned by a scratch from a werewolf. Chris says it’s possible and, ONCE AGAIN, Kate puts together the context clues and assumes that someone else is the other Beta wolf instead of thinking, ‘Hey, maybe that Scott kid who’s supposedly friends with Derek Hale could be that Beta.’

Hmm. Context clues. Better put them together like idiots.

Hmm. Context clues. Better put them together like idiots.

The lacrosse game starts. Scott stands around looking stupid and scared because he’s overheard Kate’s dumb theory and hasn’t realised yet that she is rubbish with context clues.

Scott, calm down. She thought Stiles was a better beta candidate than you. You're fine.

Scott, calm down. She thought Stiles was a better Beta candidate than you. You’re fine.

END OF EPISODE

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