Teen Wolf recap – Season 2, Episode 3: Ice Pick

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Night. Allison fills up her car and a cute guy on a motorbike nods to her.

The 'I'm not a rapist' nod.

The ‘I’m not a rapist’ nod.

Suddenly, all the lights at the petrol station go out. She gets back in her car and finds the keys missing from the ignition. She gets out again to look for them and is KIDNAPPED.

Allison finds herself gagged and bound to a chair in the Hale house. Chris is also bound and gagged across from her.

I just wanted to fill up my car, I swear.

I just wanted to fill up my car, I swear.

DISEMBODIED VOICE: Have you ever wondered what happens if a hunter gets bitten, Allison? Ever wondered what would happen if you get bitten? What do you think your father would do? What do you think he’d have to do?

Chris frees himself from the chair and reveals that HE’S IN ON THIS and so is Cute Motorbike Guy. The disembodied voice was actually a recording on someone’s phone. Chris removes Allison’s gag but leaves her bound to the chair.

ALLISON: Is this how we’re going to do father-daughter talks from now on?

CHRIS: No. This is how we’re going to train you.

He pulls out the arrow that Allison shot Fake Deputy with last episode. Apparently Chris is now on the kill-all-the-werewolves bandwagon. If they find Isaac on another full moon, they will kill him. But this wasn’t his choice.

CHRIS: Our family has a surprisingly progressive tradition. Knowing wars and violence are typically started by men, we place the final decisions—the hard ones—with the women. Our sons are trained to be soldiers, our daughters to be leaders. Training starts now.

Also, stop firing arrows at my people. It's just rude. This isn't Starling City.

Also, stop firing arrows at my people. It’s just rude. This isn’t Starling City.

He hands her the arrow head and leaves Cute Motorbike Guy to time how long it takes her to cut through her bindings. She does it in two and a half hours and Cute Motorbike Guy congratulates her; it took him three hours to get out of the ropes on his first time.

Ew, don't touch me.

Ew, don’t touch me.

Allison drives away and Cute Motorbike Guy is about to leave when something that looks like a gigantic snake wraps around his ankle, pulling him to the ground. Something slashes at the back of his neck and suddenly Cute Motorbike Guy is having trouble moving.

Guess it wasn’t a snake after all—it was the tail of that lizard thing, and it seems to have paralytic venom in its claws. Nice.

Time for a manicure, buddy.

Time for a manicure, buddy.

TITLE SEQUENCE

In gym class, Allison and Scott are on the rock-climbing wall together. Scott is taking his time so he can stare at Allison’s butt. She kicks him off the wall and he lands back on the mat.

COACH: McCall, I don’t know why but your pain gives me a special kind of joy.

The next two wall climbers are Stiles and a girl called Erica. Stiles is up and down the wall in the time it takes Erica to get up a few feet. She seems terrified.

COACH: Is it vertigo?

LYDIA: Vertigo’s a dysfunction of the vestibular system of the inner ear. She’s just freaking out.

Allison reminds Coach that Erica is epileptic and he tries to get her to come back down.

You know what'll probably make this easier? Having a whole bunch of people crowd around you and laugh.

You know what’ll probably make this easier? Having a whole bunch of people crowd around you and laugh.

She does, looking like she’s about to cry. The rest of the class are little shits and laugh at her and they should all probably be punched in the neck.

In the locker room, Coach tells the boys to tell the principal, a teacher, or call him if they see Isaac.

COACH: Except for you, Greenberg. Don’t call me for anything. I’m not kidding. Don’t call me. You shouldn’t even have my number.

Jackson overhears Stiles saying that Isaac is Derek’s problem now. Jackson isn’t happy to hear there’s another teen wolf running around, especially since his own full moon was so anticlimactic.

After class, Erica returns to the gym for another go at the rock-climbing wall and I think playing I’ll Make a Man Out of You right here would be absolutely appropriate.

You must be swift as the coursing river.

You must be swift as the coursing river.

Stiles changes his shirt behind a locker door, depriving me of SHIRTLESS Stiles and that upsets me. Scott tries to back out of some plans Stiles starts ranting at him. Scott is distracted by his palm suddenly shaking.

Scott is somehow feeling the beginning of Erica’s epileptic fit. She falls off the rock wall (there’s no harness because she was Mulan-ing it) and Scott arrives in time to catch her. Some other gym people appear at the same time, including Allison. Did you all sense Erica’s fit like Scott? Scott puts Erica on her side and keeps hold of her hand throughout her fit.

How can I make a man out of you?

How can I make a man out of you?

At the hospital, Mama McCall manages to make Erica smile because she’s ADORABLE. Mama McCall leaves, saying the doctor will be in in a minute. Someone that looks suspiciously not like a doctor and exactly like Derek Hale starts wheeling Erica’s bed out of the room and into the morgue.

Derek turns on the puppy dog eyes and the soothing voice and kind of invades her personal space but Erica doesn’t seem to mind.

I wouldn't mind either, Erica. Not gonna lie.

I wouldn’t mind either, Erica. Not gonna lie.

He offers her a way to escape her epilepsy and all her other problems and she wants to know what it is. His Alpha eyes light up.

There’s a documentary on vaccinations playing in class. Jackson is ignoring it and Matt is berating him for breaking his camera. Suddenly, Jackson hears a context clue and realises that Lydia may have built up an immunity to the wolf bite.

Jackson grabs Lydia after class and basically assaults her because he thinks that she passed her immunity on to him.

Just stand still and let me yell about things you don't understand.

Just stand still and let me yell about things you don’t understand.

Lydia is visibly shaken and Jackson looks apologetic for half a second but still walks away.

Lydia locks herself in a toilet cubicle to cry. She’s interrupted by the sight of some random dude with dirty feet.

Frodo, is that you?

Frodo, is that you?

Lydia opens her cubicle to find him gone and follows him down the hall. He stops to caress a trophy cabinet before leaving.

IS THAT PETER HALE? THAT LOOKS LIKE THE BACK OF PETER HALE’S HEAD.

Well, at the very least the trophy he was looking at says Peter Hale and Lydia suddenly has flashbacks to seeing his face.

The guy that bit me didn't even wear shoes in public.

The guy that bit me didn’t even wear shoes in public.

At lunch, Stiles approaches a dude called Boyd and asks him if he has the keys. I’m assuming this has something to do with Stiles and Scott’s plans for tonight. Apparently Boyd said he’d hand over the keys for $50. Stiles tries to bargain with $20 and Boyd is having none of that shit.

STILES: Come on, man. Have you seen the piece of crap Jeep that I drive?

BOYD: Have you seen the piece of crap bus that I take?

Stiles, don't be a bitch. Stop haggling.

Stiles, don’t be a bitch. Stop haggling.

Stiles slaps down the rest of the money and Boyd hands over the keys.

Stiles returns to his own lunch table where Scott’s waiting.

STILES: I’ll pick you up right after work tonight and we’ll meet at the rink. Cool?

Scott can’t respond because Erica just walked in and everyone in the cafeteria is transfixed because she discovered make-up and anti-frizz products and looks hot as hell.

Maybe she's born with it.

Maybe she’s born with it.

Apparently Erica only walked in so she could walk out again. Scott and Stiles run after her and find Erica getting in to Derek’s car. He smiles at them and drives off. So much smiling this season. I like it a lot.

They see me rollin'. They hatin'.

They see me rollin’. They hatin’.

At the animal clinic (where Scott apparently still works intermittently), Scott has a chat to Deaton (his boss) about some deep things that I didn’t really pay attention to because I was being lulled to sleep by Deaton’s super soothing voice. Scott tries to bring up Deaton’s weird knowledge of the supernatural and Deaton sidesteps the conversation by giving Scott a raise.

At Casa Argent, Allison is hanging out with Lydia in her bedroom and Chris calls her aside.

ALLISON: We’re just studying, Dad.

CHRIS: I get it. But we need you to remember what happened.

ALLISON: You want me to stop being friends with her?

CHRIS: Actually, we want the opposite. I know how this might sound but we need you to keep an eye on her.

ALLISON: You want me to spy on her.

CHRIS: We want you to look out for your friend to make sure everything’s okay with her.

Lydia seems perfectly fine taking selfies. Chris looks confused by teenage girls.

Yes, Dad. All teenage girls take selfies.

Yes, Dad. All teenage girls take selfies.

The plans for tonight are finally revealed. Boyd’s keys were to the ice skating rink where Scott, Stiles, Allison, and Lydia are hanging out/going out on a double date after hours.

Lydia accepts a peanut butter cup from Stiles (not a euphemism) and he uses that as an opening to talk about how they should maybe date each other. It goes right over the top of Lydia’s head (she may have forgotten Stiles’s profession of love from last season).

Apparently Scott has never gone ice skating before but thinks he’ll be awesome because he has super speed, strength, and reflexes. He proves his point by falling on his face multiple times.

Lydia, on the other hand, is an amazing ice skater and I want to know how to spin like that. Stiles is in awe and she takes his hand to skate around with him.

After Scott hits his head one too many times, he and Allison go to take cute couple shots in a photo booth. It’s semi-ruined by Scott’s werewolf eyes being triggered by the flash but it’s still cute.

Allison, forget about my eyes. Just be in the photo booth moment.

Lydia finds a random piece of wolfsbane growing out of the ice and kneels down to inspect it.

This does not look naturally occurring.

This does not look naturally occurring.

Peter Hale is buried under the ice.

Surprise, bitch. I bet you thought you'd seen the last of me.

Surprise, bitch. I bet you thought you’d seen the last of me.

Lydia starts screaming. Scott and Allison rush out to find out what’s wrong. Stiles is trying to calm her down but Lydia is inconsolable.

At school the next day, Scott tries to find out from Erica who Derek’s next target is. Erica tells him that she’s way better off now because she won’t have to be embarrassed by her seizures (again, high school children are amused by the pain of others and are pieces of garbage). Erica gets all up in Scott’s personal space right in front of Allison. Scott shoves her away.

Scott, I'm new to this whole animal magnetism thing but I think it works if I just continually assault you.

Scott, I’m new to this whole animal magnetism thing but I think it works if I just continually assault you.

Mama Argent is tidying up in Allison’s room/snooping through her stuff and she finds the Because I love you note from Scott tucked in one of Allison’s textbooks. She goes out to the kitchen and very calmly slices her fucking arm open with a knife.

Apparently this was an excuse to end up at the hospital, being taken care of by Mama McCall. Well, good thing she happened to be working or you would’ve had to keep slicing yourself open like a lunatic. Mama Argent reveals she used to be a teacher and also, that her creepy pain threshold means she doesn’t need anaesthetic for her stitches. Mama Argent asks about Scott’s reaction to the break-up and discovers that he’s not all that heartbroken.

MAMA McCALL: Maybe he just hides it well.

MAMA ARGENT: Teenagers are quit good at hiding things, aren’t they?

Allison, run. Run for your life.

Allison, run. Run for your life.

Allison and Scott sit back-to-back at lunch and have an incredibly subtle conversation with each other. Scott tries to apologise for what happened with Erica. Allison isn’t an idiot. With Gerard showing up and Derek recruiting for his pack, battle lines are being drawn. She wants Scott to stay out of it.

Do you even have people sitting opposite you? You realise talking to yourself is not a good look, right?

Do you even have people sitting opposite you? You realise talking to yourself is not a good look, right?

SCOTT: What am I supposed to do? I can’t just stand by. I can’t pretend to be normal.

ALLISON: I don’t want you to be normal. I want you to be alive.

Allison leaves and Stiles arrives. He points out that Boyd is missing and he’s possibly the newest recruit. Stiles wonders if they should let Boyd get bitten, since Derek’s giving everyone a choice and Erica seems to be doing so much better. Scott can’t let it go; he feels responsible for the situation.

STILES: I also got to say, this newfound heroism is making me very attracted to you.

SCOTT: Shut up.

STILES: No, seriously. Do you want to just try making out for a sec? Just to see how it feels!

You adorable bisexual kitten.

Jackson goes to the Hale house, demanding an explanation from Derek’s door about why the bite didn’t work. When the door doesn’t respond, Jackson forces his way into the house and is confronted by WEREWOLF HUNTER guns in his face.

Probably should've knocked first.

Probably should’ve knocked first.

We can just see the body of Cute Motorbike Guy in the next room. Chris is not happy that Jackson is still chasing down the werewolf bite.

CHRIS: You have so much good in your life. You’re smart, good-looking. You’re captain of the lacrosse team.

JACKSON: Co-captain.

Chris shoves him out of the house. He doesn’t have time for Jackson’s idiocy.

Stiles arrives at Boyd’s house and is confronted by Erica. Erica enjoys the fact that Stiles is maintaining eye contact to avoid looking at her breasts. Erica teases him a bit but Stiles stays strong. Maybe he did have that make-out session with Scott and he’s good for the day.

I feel like if I just close my eyes you'll go away.

I feel like if I just close my eyes you’ll go away.

ERICA: So it’s just my eyes?

STILES: Yes. You have beautiful eyes.

ERICA: I have beautiful everything

Stiles tries to leave but Erica has pulled something out of Stiles’s engine and uses it to smack him in the face.

Night. Deaton rocks up the animal clinic, where someone has set off the alarm. It’s Chris, with the decimated body of Cute Motorbike Guy, and he wants a medical opinion.

DEATON: I don’t know if you saw the sign out there but this is just an animal clinic.

CHRIS: I’m aware of that. I’m also aware that you’re not just a vet.

Scott finds Boyd at the ice skating rink. Boyd knows about the WEREWOLF HUNTERS but he still wants to be a werewolf, mostly because he doesn’t want to eat lunch alone every day.

SCOTT: If you’re looking for friends, you can do a lot better than Derek.

Derek shows up with Erica and Isaac, who do some weird posing in the background before Derek sets them both on Scott.

Heard you were talkin' shit.

Heard you were talkin’ shit.

Scott breaks the ice with his fist to show that he’s hard core and then kicks the shit out of the newbie werewolves.

Thank God he didn’t have to fight while wearing ice skates because he would’ve lost in 0.2 seconds.

Thank God he didn’t have to fight while wearing ice skates because he would’ve lost in 0.2 seconds.

Scott says that Derek is just using Isaac and Erica and they’re a bunch of guard dogs. Derek decides to do his own dirty work and wolfs out so he can throw Scott around. He walks off. Boyd starts to follow.

SCOTT: Don’t. You don’t want to be like him.

Boyd shows him that he’s already been bitten

BOYD: You’re right. I want to be like you.

Stiles wakes up in the dumpster where Erica left him. He’s angry but otherwise fine.

Scott goes to the animal clinic and finds Deaton with the body of Cute Motorbike Guy. Deaton tells Scott that the wounds from Derek won’t heal because they’re from an Alpha. Finally, it’s time for Deaton to come clean about his knowledge of the supernatural.

This is not my dead body. It's just a dead body I happened to find here.

This is not my dead body. It’s just a dead body I happened to find here.

Jackson has driven his ute (America, do you call that a pick-up truck?) over to the lacrosse field. Yeah. He has another vehicle in addition to the two we’ve already seen. Jackson obsessively throws lacrosse ball after lacrosse ball through a small hoop. He tries to leave but his ute is stuck in the mud. Serves you right for driving it there, dickhead.

Jackson tries to move the ute and ends up falling into the mud. In anger, he turns around and lifts the ute up off the ground.

Conrgats, buddy. You may not be a werewolf but you got that super strength thing going on.

Conrgats, buddy. You may not be a werewolf but you got that super strength thing going on.

END OF EPISODE

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