For more Teen Wolf recaps, click here.
We’re in a creepy game locker and some dude is dragging around a body bag. He’s a wendigo, isn’t he? He’s going to be a wendigo. Oh, and whatever’s in that body bag is alive. FANTASTIC.
Probably Wendigo Dude unzips the bag to reveal a crying girl bound and gagged with silver gaffer tape. The girl’s name is Kalissa. She sees the knives and meat cleavers hanging on a rack and Probably Wendigo Dude helpfully informs her that he does, in fact, intend to eat her.
PROBABLY WENDIGO DUDE: It’s okay that you’re scared. You see, contrary to traditional culinary practices, it actually tastes better for someone like me when the kill’s been frightened.
He bears his WENDIGO TEETH and forces Kalissa to look at him as his eyes go all white and creepy.
But suddenly Kalissa seems less frightened. It’s because DEATON has arrived and he is brandishing his BATON OF RIGHTEOUSNESS. Wendigo Dude tries to fight Deaton with meat hooks but he’s no match for Deaton’s awesomeness.
Sensing defeat, Wendigo Dude drops his weapons and puts his hands up.
WENDIGO DUDE: The dead pool’s over. You’re not going to get paid. It’s over.
DEATON: I’m not here to kill you, Patrick. I’m taking you back to Eichen House, where they know all about your ‘culinary practices’.
Deaton knocks out Patrick and takes off Kalissa’s gag. She asks him if he’s a cop and he smiles, saying he’s a veterinarian.
Okay, so I guess we just met Patrick Clark from the dead pool, who is apparently a Super Wendigo because he was worth $1 million while the Walcott family of wendigos were only worth $250,000 each. I still don’t understand this valuation system but it’s mostly over now so whatever.
Deaton takes Patrick back to Eichen House and watches as he’s wheeled away. A doctor leads Deaton down another hallway. Through the little gaps in the doors, we see that this is actually Beacon Hills’s answer to Arkham Aslyum. Behind each door is a different supernatural and some of them look like things we haven’t seen before. One of them may or may not be a Kanima. This doctor knows all about supernaturals but apparently having a serial killer like Brunski on their staff was a big secret.
The doctor tells Deaton there’s a reason this floor isn’t listed in the brochure but Deaton is adamant: he came through on his end of the bargain and now it’s the doctor’s turn.
DEATON: All I want to do is talk to him.
DOCTOR: The last person that went to see Valack left the room but not the building. And all they did was talk.
DEATON: I’ll keep that in mind.
Deaton steps into ‘Dr Valack’s’ cell, which houses a smaller plexiglass cell that I guess means he’s super dangerous. Well, he does have a big bandage around his head, which doesn’t usually indicate a happy-go-lucky person. Oh, and he’s British. On seeing Deaton, he tosses aside the book he’s reading; all he’s allowed are trashy romance novels.
Deaton introduces himself. Valack moves to the plexiglass wall. He knows Deaton’s speciality—knows that it’s not cats and dogs. Deaton says he’s here because of what Valack knows about South American mythology. Valack corrects him: Deaton is here because he wants to know about Kate Argent and la loba—the Bone Woman. I thought la loba meant ‘she-wolf’? Kate has a million nicknames. We’ll move on.
Deaton says he needs to know what Kate did to Derek Hale and if he’s dying, because he once made a promise to a woman he loved. Deaton, were you in love with Talia Hale? Is Derek secretly your son?
If Deaton wants to know more, then he needs to move closer and see what Valack knows. Valack takes off his gross head bandage and reveals an equally gross head wound. He’s going to have a third eye, isn’t he? Oh, it’s gross. Why does the wound still look fresh? Maybe it’s not a third eye. Shouldn’t you be born with that kind of thing? Why would the wound be fresh?
Deaton doesn’t know much about trepanation but he’s pretty sure drilling a hole in his head hasn’t given Valack ESP. Valack tells Deaton to have a look for himself and Deaton, whether curious or somehow entranced, steps closer. He looks at the hole in Valack’s head and—I WAS FUCKING RIGHT. IT’S A THIRD EYEBALL. AND IT’S GROSS.
Scott arrives home late at night to find Mama McCall waiting for him in the kitchen. The lights are off, which maybe means that the electricity bill is going unpaid again. He apologises, saying he got more hours at the animal clinic to earn some extra money.
MAMA McCALL: How much more did you need?
She’s found Garrett’s bag of blood money. Scott hurriedly tells her why he has it and Mama McCall tells him that it belong to Derek and Scott has to give it back. Scott admits he was going to; the only reason he hasn’t is because Scott knows that they’ve been struggling financially.
MAMA McCALL: Scott, you can save people’s lives but you cannot save them from life. Life is full of struggles.
SCOTT: But it doesn’t have to be.
He pulls out one bundle of notes. Each bundle could pay for their new roof, for Stiles’s MRI, for Stiles’s Eichen House bills. One of these bundles could mean that Mama McCall doesn’t have to work the double shift at the hospital and come home totally exhausted.
Mama McCall hands him another bundle and asks what that could do. This bundle is smeared with actual blood. Scott nods, understanding.
At Liam’s place, he and Mason are playing a video game. Mason asks if Liam’s been practising or if he’s just developed superhuman reflexes. Liam says quickly that he’s been practising. Mason gets up to leave; they have a History test tomorrow that he has to study for.
Liam is suddenly eager for Mason to stay over and study there or even just play one more game. Mason asks Liam if he’s okay. Instead of answering, Liam says that he should probably study as well. He’ll see Mason at school.
Later, Liam hops into bed and hesitates when it comes time to turn off the light. He looks around the room to check if anyone or anything is hiding there. Finally, he turns off the light. The sound of the rain and the creaking of the house plays into his fears and Liam imagines that there’s a Berserker standing his room, walking towards him.
Liam shuts his eyes, saying over and over again that the Berserker isn’t there. The Berserker leans over him, close enough to touch, and Liam opens his eyes and turns on his bedside lamp. The room is empty.
At Derek’s loft, he and Braeden are SHIRTLESS (though Braeden is still wearing a nice bra) and having some quality snuggle time when Derek’s intruder alert goes off. They jump out of bed and each grab a gun. Derek is, unfortunately, wearing pants. Braeden is only in her underwear.
There’s no one at the window or coming down from the roof access. Braeden sees a shadow underneath the front door and they move towards it. Derek opens the door and he and Braeden both point their guns at the intruder.
Lydia stands on the threshold, soaking wet. She opens her mouth and lets out a banshee scream.
The next morning, Malia is trying to wake Stiles. He has an early morning practice session for the lacrosse game. Malia is supposed to be at school, studying for her Maths test, which will determine whether or not she gets to be a senior with Stiles next year. Stiles is nonresponsive.
Malia looks over at the murder board and something about it seems to please her. She grabs Stiles and pulls him in for a kiss. Stiles is finally awake and he protests that he hasn’t brushed his teeth yet. Malia doesn’t care. She leans in for another kiss and apparently no one’s interested in getting to school early anymore.
We cut back to the murder board, where there’s a new entry: Who is the Desert Wolf?
I don’t know if Malia has actually told Stiles that the Desert Wolf may or may not be her mother but either way she thinks her boyfriend’s pretty groovy.
Scott takes the bag of money over to Derek’s loft. Derek seems totally cool with Scott having had it, especially when Scott confirms that he’s earning minimum wage at the animal clinic.
DEREK: Everyone can be tempted, Scott. Even a True Alpha.
Scott, what happened to that $2 an hour raise that Deaton gave you back in season 1? Or was it season 2? I can’t remember now. But I also don’t understand America’s weird minimum wage thing so I may be wrong. Anyway, Derek isn’t mad because the money isn’t his; it belongs to Peter.
SCOTT: Where’s your money?
DEREK: You’re standing on it.
Scott looks down in shock, thinking there’s another vault. But no, Derek just owns the building. And he has his own bank accounts. All the money from the vault was Peter’s and they’d probably be better off if the rest of the money never came back. Wait, does that mean you’re giving Scott the money? Or just saying that if he finds any other blood money, it’s for keeps? If everyone’s money problems were solved in this scene, I feel like Scott would be way more excited.
Also, how long have you owned this building, Derek? Were you living in your dirty old house and your subway cubby when you actually already had a place to say? ALSO, do other people actually live in this building? How much would it suck to not only have Derek as a neighbour but as a landlord? ‘Excuse me, I was hearing a rave going on upstairs. Could you—oh, that was you? And my leaking roof was because you intentionally flooded your apartment? And all those gunshots? Okay, cool. Yep. So that’s not going to change, is it?’
Scott says he knows Lydia was here last night. They’ve apparently just decided it was an omen of Derek’s impending death with no conversation. Did Lydia just finish screaming and then walk off again? Anyway, Deaton’s still trying to figure out what Kate did to Derek. If anyone can find an answer, it’s Deaton.
Speak of the devil. Deaton wakes up in a crypt-looking thing, lying on a stone slab. Is this La Iglesia? That Mexican church where Kate was hiding out? Looks like it, since there seem to be Berserker bones hanging out. There’s a giant bone dagger thing. Deaton grabs hold of it but is suddenly disorientated.
Back at Eichen House, Deaton has been moved to a bed. The regular doctor (not Valack) is checking on Deaton. He wants Deaton monitored every hour. He shakes his head, saying that people never listen.
At school, Malia shows Lydia her most recent piece of assessment. She got a C-minus, which means that she passed. Lydia’s notes are great when they’re not written in code.
Coach hands Malia another piece of assessment, this one with an F grade. He tells Malia that he’s profoundly disappointed, which seems kind of harsh considering Malia is way behind everyone else and the American schooling system is super confusing. 72 per cent is a C-minus? 54 is an F? I know you guys have to make up for grading from A to F instead of A to D but I still think it’s weird.
Lydia promises to give Malia her notes again. Lydia looks up at the blackboard, where it looks like Coach has been writing about what John D. Rockefeller, Cornelius Vanderbilt, and Henry Ford were worth at the time of their deaths. The way it’s set out looks a lot like the dead pool.
Kira looks at the board and seems to understand what Lydia’s thinking. She leans forward and tells Lydia that it’s over. The computers are off, which means no more assassins, no more murders, and no one’s dying.
LYDIA: Not yet.
Yeah, Kira. This is still Beacon Hills.
In the gym, Liam is preparing to bench press an absurd amount of weights again while Mason using some much lighter dumbbells.
MASON: Do you need a spot?
LIAM: No. Do you?
MASON: This is my warm-up, you ass.
Liam refuses a spot even when Mason points out that he’s about to bench 300 pounds. Liam does one press easily enough, which apparently means he’s totally fine to do a bunch of reps unsupervised.
Mason walks off and Liam goes back to bench pressing. He immediately starts having FLASHBACKS to episode 8 and fighting Berserkers on the hospital rooftop. Liam struggles under the weight and nearly drops it completely when Scott appears, pulling the weights off.
As Liam coughs on the ground, Scott kneels next to him. He says that if Liam doesn’t want to be with them then that’s okay. But he shouldn’t push his friends away too. Liam looks up and imagines seeing another Berserker in the mirror behind him.
Chris Argent is walking around the sewers with a big gun. He sees a bunch of Berserker bones but doesn’t have much time to examine them: Peter appears out of nowhere. Peter says he found Kate with his keen sense of smell; Chris still has the bone dagger that Scott was impaled with back in episode 6. There are traces of calcium hydroxide on the bone, which is used by water treatment plants as an anticorrosive.
PETER: You tracked Kate and her Berserkers all the way down here? That’s very impressive. I wonder if one of them might still be around.
Chris turns to see a Berserker rounding the corner. He starts shooting.
Scott leads Kira into Derek’s loft. Derek isn’t home and all the lights are out. Scott guides Kira’s hand to a light bulb and asks her to turn on the lights. She does, using her kitsune powers. But it’s not just one light bulb; dozens of them light up around the loft.
Kira seems totally fine with their ‘first real date’ taking place in someone else’s empty apartment that Scott has probably spent years hours rewiring for this lighting display to work (unless Scott just strung up lights and Kira’s power did all the rewiring. But I feel like there would’ve had to be at least some connection between the lights for them to all turn on). After a kiss, Scott asks Kira if she brought a movie. She pulls one out of her bag.
KIRA: I borrowed it from Stiles. He says you’ve never seen it and he’s going to kill you if you don’t.
SCOTT: Star Wars.
Kira looks around and realises that Derek doesn’t own a TV. They set up someone’s laptop as a screen instead. Before the movie even starts, Scott starts questioning the order, asking why this is called the fourth movie when it’s actually the first. Kira tries to explain it to him for a second and then tells him to forget the movie.
She leans in for a kiss and it’s time for some EXTENDED SEXY MAKE-OUT TIMES.
Suddenly, Scott pulls away. He looks over at the window in time to see someone smash through it. It’s Kate, in werejaguar mode, and her spare Berserker.
At the Stilinski house, Sheriff walks into Stiles’s bedroom where Malia is studying on the bed, Stiles at the desk. He wants to take them both out to dinner and Stiles reminds him that they need to be frugal right now.
Sheriff pulls out a letter of apology from Eichen House. Since Stiles and Lydia were nearly killed by Brunski, Eichen House has forgiven their debt.
STILES: I have never been so happy to have almost been murdered.
SHERIFF: Well, look, we’re not out of it yet but we’re going to be okay. And, at least for the moment, I can afford to take my son and his girlfriend out to dinner. Malia, what’s your favourite food?
STILES: Pizza. She likes pizza.
Back in the sewers, Chris is looking pretty beat up. Peter has promised Kate that he won’t kill her brother but, unfortunately, Peter also can’t let Chris leave. He stabs a piece of rebar through Chris’s stomach, embedding it into the wall behind him. Then Peter takes the rebar and bends it so that there’s no way Chris can get free by himself.
PETER: Now, you rest here for a while. You’ve had a hard time for a very long time.
He walks away, leaving Chris alone in the sewers.
Mason goes over to Liam’s place. He knows that something’s going on and Liam doesn’t want to talk but they’re still best friends. And, considering their last close friend, Garrett, was a professional killer, Mason doesn’t have too many other options. Until Liam’s ready to talk, Mason is content to play the video games he’s brought and beat Liam at least once. Liam picks one of the games up and says he’s never played it.
Scott wakes, still in Derek’s loft. He’s bleeding from the lip, nose, and temple. And he’s being held aloft by a Berserker. That’s very kind—oh, no, it’s not. The Berserker just threw him at a wall. Scott looks over in time to see Kate kick Kira in the stomach, sending her flying backwards.
Kate and Scott start fighting. Scott might have the upper hand because of his mad parkour skills and also because he’s a True Alpha. Kira gets to her feet and finds a length of chain, which she uses to take on the Berserker. After a couple of well-placed blows, the Berserker grabs the chain and uses it to pull Kira towards him. He backhands her, sending Kira sprawling. Kira, will you freaking electrocute people already? CLEARLY the Berserkers are immune to your ninja skills.
Kate wins the fight between her and Scott because it makes sense that a recently-turned werejaguar could take on an older werewolf who happens to be a True Alpha. In real life, sure, Kate would probably win on skills. But being a True Alpha has got to mean something more than a plot point at some stage. Exhausted, Scott asks Kate what she wants.
KATE: I want a little bit of insight, Scott.
SCOTT: To what?
KATE: My family. The Argent family has been around for over 400 years. A powerful, wealthy, aristocratic family of werewolf hunters. But yet somehow, in less than a year, this great family is decimated by a teenage boy. So my question is simple: what the hell is so special about Scott McCall?
SCOTT: You want me? Take me. Just me.
KATE: Oh, no. We’re all going. We’re all going to church.
She roars right in Scott’s face.
The next day, Stiles and Liam get to school, ready for their lacrosse game. Scott isn’t there but Stiles assures Liam that Scott texted and said he might be a little late. Liam is still worried: they’re playing Devenford Prep again and this time it’s an actual game.
Coach overhears them talking and Stiles and Liam admit that Scott and Kira might be slightly late.
COACH: Slightly late is still late. What are they doing?
STILES: They’re doing something that’s going to make them slightly late.
COACH: What could Scott and Kira be doing right now that’s more important than playing in the first game?
STILES: Oh, Coach.
As the lacrosse teams warm up on the field, Sheriff and Malia find seats in the stands. Mason finds a seat with Sydney (the first girl to get sick from the Chemist’s dead pool virus).
Liam looks around and realises that Scott and Kira still aren’t there. Stiles asks if Liam’s nervous about the full moon and tells him it’s not for another 24 hours. Liam just needs to not rage out on anyone.
LIAM: You’re not worried?
STILES: Okay, mildly concerned. Mildly.
He pulls out his phone and texts Scott, saying that he’s very worried.
Liam says they’re going to lose the game without Scott. Stiles assures him that he’s been practising and he’s getting really good. Out on the field, Stiles’s ‘really good’ still gets him knocked over and humiliated by the opposing team. Liam crouches down next to him and Stiles says that he’ll call Scott again.
Deputy Parrish finds Chris in the sewers, bleeding out against the wall. Chris doesn’t know how long he’s been like this. Parrish asks if Peter Hale did this. Parrish has been following Peter every day since the interview with Meredith.
Chris tells Parrish that Peter and Kate are going after Scott. Parrish has to warn them. There’s no service in the sewers and Parrish refuses to leave; by the time he makes it back, Chris will be dead. He’s going to get Chris out of here.
At the lacrosse game, Devenford Prep scores a goal right before halftime. Since neither Scott or Kira are answering their phones, Stiles decides to leave and find them. With his wolf hearing, Liam hears Stiles go off with Sheriff. Malia offers to stay at the game in case Scott shows up.
Out on the field, Beacon Hills seems to have the upper hand for a second when Brett misses the ball. Then Devenford Prep gets it back and heads to score a goal. Liam runs forward, ready to tackle someone, when another imaginary Berserker charges onto the field, killing everyone in its path. Liam stands, immobile, as Brett passes him to score a goal. I’m just going to say it once more: Danny could probably have saved those goals.
As the game continues, Peter arrives and sits next to Malia.
At Eichen House, the doctor notes that there’s been no response from Deaton. They’re about to move him to the sixth floor when Lydia arrives and says they’re not taking him anywhere.
DOCTOR: Well, unless you’re family, I don’t think you can make that decision.
LYDIA: We’re close enough.
Too bad Deaton doesn’t, like, have a family member who works for this mental health facility or anything. Oh, wait. He does.
The doctor tells Lydia that Deaton isn’t responding to any stimuli; she can talk to him but there’s no way of knowing he’s actually hearing anyone.
LYDIA: Trust me on this: he’ll hear me.
Back at the lacrosse game, Liam has the ball. He races towards the goal and is shoulder-charged by Brett.
LIAM: What the hell did you do that for?
BRETT: Because you’re afraid. I can smell it on you from across the field. Are you hurt?
BRETT: Are you still alive?
BRETT: Then get up.
Liam gets to his feet and the ref runs up to check Liam’s okay. He asks Brett if he’s going to pull something like that again. Brett smirks and says only if he has to.
In the stands, Malia is not happy that Peter has showed up to the game. She told him not to come and, after what happened with Peter and Meredith, Malia doesn’t think she needs any one-on-one father-daughter time.
PETER: How about mother-daughter time? That’s right. I found our Desert Wolf.
Peter says this woman is definitely Malia’s mother. But if she wants to find her, Malia is going to have to do something for Peter; something that’s come naturally to her for a very long time. Malia asks if Peter always needs to get something in return. Peter says yes, when it’s something he can’t do on his own. He wants Malia to kill Kate Argent.
Wait, what? Aren’t you two buddies? What the hell are you doing? Are you even aware that Kate’s attacking Scott right now?
Kira wakes to find herself lying on a pile of bones, locked in a cage. She calls out for Scot but there’s no answer.
After the game, Brett approaches Liam in the locker room and asks if he’s okay. Liam points out that they lost. But, yeah, he’s okay. Brett says he helped Liam because Scott saved Brett and all of Satomi’s pack.
BRETT: Do you know how lucky you are?
LIAM: What do you mean?
BRETT: Scott’s a True Alpha. That means he didn’t get his powers because he was born with it, he didn’t get it by stealing or by killing someone. He earned it. You’re not strong just because you can lift a lot of weight now. You’re strong because you endure. Satomi calls it strength of character. You’re lucky to have him.
As Brett walks off, Liam mutters to himself. If he’s so lucky to have Scott then why isn’t Scott here?
Back in the sewers, Chris screams as Parrish tries to bend the rebar back. He apologises, saying he can’t do it himself but he won’t leave. Chris might be hurt and tired but Parrish needs him to gather everything he’s got and help.
CHRIS: I’ve got nothing left. Please, just go. We’re running out of time.
DEPUTY PARRISH: You know what you need? Adrenaline. There’s two ways to get it: fear and anger. Since you don’t look like a guy who’s afraid of anything, you need to get angry. You need to get so angry that your brain lets loose every bit of adrenaline it has left.
CHRIS: I’m too tired to be angry.
DEPUTY PARRISH: Okay. I don’t know much about you or what you’ve been through but Lydia told me some of it. And I know about Allison. I know how she felt about Scott and I think if she knew what was happening to him, she’d be pretty angry. At least angry enough to try one more time to get the hell out of here. So whatever trigger you need—if it’s Allison or your sister or Peter, use it! Use it right now!
Chris grabs the bar and nods at Parrish. They pull together. Chris screams in agony and rage. Parrish’s eyes glow orange. Like a fire. Like a phoenix. He’s a phoenix, guys. If he’s anything else, I’m going to be so disappointed.
Stiles and Sheriff arrive at Derek’s loft to find Derek and Braeden inspecting the damage done by Kate’s surprise visit. Derek, who is at heart an adorable scruffy romantic, was totally aware of Scott and Kira’s date at the loft. Neither Derek or Braeden look psyched that their awesome love nest idea backfired.
Stiles gets a call from Lydia, who says that Scott’s been taken. Stiles says he already knows, just not where Scott and Kira have been taken to. Deaton chimes in, sounding exhausted but somehow, miraculously, conscious. He says they’ve been taken to Mexico. And if they want to save Scott’s life, that’s where everyone needs to go too. Deaton looks at Lydia and she takes his hand. Maybe they’re wondering about what means Kate used to whisk two beaten and unconscious teenagers across the border in such a short amount of time.
Scott wakes in the same room we saw in Deaton’s dream sequence/hallucination. Only he’s bound to the stone slab by rope laced with wolfsbane flowers.
Kate enters the room and asks if Scott was ever taught the myth of Artemis and Actaeon in school. We already established in season 2 that Scott’s not good with Greek mythology. He hasn’t gotten any better since then so Kate explains.
Actaeon, a hunter, once saw the goddess Artemis bathing NAKED. When Artemis found out, she was angry enough to turn Actaeon into a deer, which sent his own hounds into a frenzy. Actaeon was torn apart by his own hunting dogs.
Kate picks up a bone mask like the ones the Berserkers wear.
SCOTT: What are you doing?
KATE: I’m not going to turn you into a deer. But you are about to become something unrecognisable to your friends. They won’t know what they’re fighting. Or killing.
As Scott struggles and pleads, a Berserker holds him down. Kate raises the bone mask in the air and slowly brings it down to rest on Scott’s head as he screams.
Quite frankly, I think the McCall pack killing Scott is (a) wishful thinking since they’ve never come close to beating a Berserker and Liam is terrified of them; and (b) probably not really what Peter and Kate agreed on. If Scott becomes a Berserker, does that mean he’s no longer an Alpha? If Scott’s no longer an Alpha, how can Peter kill him to become an Alpha? Communication, people. It’s important.
END OF EPISODE